First Visit to Kay and Ainley boy's Visit

The longer I was not able to visit Kay because of my cataracts surgery and nursing a cold I worried how she was making out  without me. /she doesn't seem to be able initiate any action on her own.  Like getting dressed, combing her hair, or anything,  She is able to get her walker.  Sometimes she forgets the walker and uses the hand rail to go to the dining room.  She  might use the walker and walk around the building inside of course.  Otherwise she doesn't seem to do much else. In the dining room with the TV on she hardly  hardly takes notice of it,  /certainly not enough to register what the TV is communicating.  Mostly she just sits and looks.    When too bored she might get up and go back to   bed.  When I am with her she seems satisfied to just be in my company. We can just sit and hold hand by the hour,   All this means when I am there she is happy.  She doesn't need to do anything.. Now for the past week I have not been there give her comfort.  So I was concerned about how she would respond to my return.  How had she been the week I was not there.  What had she done those 24 hours every day .  I knew the caregivers could not give her much personal attention.  This reunion was to be as emotional as even the one when I came back after two years of war 67 years ago.  Today when she saw me she immediately recognized me and reached out to me.  then it was hug me, pat me, look and smile.  'she did this for some time before she had absorbed what ever was missing during my absence.  I stayed with her until 11 as I had changed the pickup time to 11 from 10.  This evening Shirley's three boys came over and took Kay and me out where we  had something to eat at Chick-a
filet.  Chris seemed interested in any old Brown film.  I don't have much.  I will go through some records and pick out what I can access
More tomorrow. s

Southern CA relatives visit Kay

  

We had a great visit with Kay today.  Joe, Colleen, and Shirley came and picked me up about 11 and we went and got Kay to go to Tacoma mall.  There we settled on a Chinese restaurant in the food course. That reinforces my contention that Kay is hungry.  She ate well and in addition a hot fudge sundae.

After we got back to Cascade we went to the famous metal table and chairs and took some pictures and video.You can see the video here on youtube  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlYfaT8B6X4

Shirley Ainley

Visit with Shirley. Kay was hungry.

The visit today was by being picked up by Colleen, Joe and Shirley.  They got in this afternoon and I went with them to get Kay to go out and eat.  I don't know if she had eaten early but when we got to the Old Country Buffet she ate like she had had nothing to eat.  I put my arm around her yesterday and felt her ribs and they seemed to be just skin and bones.  Like she felt when she was 16 years old and weighed 80 pounds.  I am really unhappy about this.  She ate well at the OCB I am sure she and the others at the facility just don't eat because of the kind of food they are  fed there.  It's a tasteless bland diet done, because for some reasons these institutions seem to cook food this way. I can understand that done here but where Kay is they should encourage them to eat.  Actually most of it is brought in by venders, bland and tasteless.  They do this salt free of course in spite Government survey a year or so ago of about 50,000 people that people on a low salt diet didn't live a day longer than those with normal salt intake. If you have ever been required to eat a bland diet you know how hard it is to want to eat like you do normally.  If you go to an institution where they care for the people with dementia you DO NOT  find any overweight people.  At least in the one where Kay is.  I'm guessing there are about 50 people there. I can not prove it, at least yet,  that not wanting to eat tasteless food is the reason everyone is the way they are. Not wanting to eat.   But I am going by the food I eat here at this place.  If they would cook food to make them  want to eat it at the dementia place the patients would not go around hungry all the time. . Every time I go Kay seems to be hungry.  I do not bring her food other than a little treat like a couple truffles and a graham cracker.   Sometimes a soda cracker.  It is the same company that owns both places so they get the food from the same vendors.  I have not paid particular attention to this up until today as  I just learned the other day that Kay had lost about 20 pounds since she went there to live.  The last time I knew her weight it was about 113 or 110 I don't remember for sure as things like I am talking about now I was not thinking about then.  But when she lived with me and she got weighted at the doctor  she weighed 110 to 113.  The reason I am bringing this up now is because if she eats when she is with me that means she is hungry. I am worried about her hurting and she can not tell me about it and I am also worried that she is also hungry.  She can not tell us about that.  Neither can the others at the facility and I am convinced that is the reason they are thin.  They are hungry and can not tell the caregivers there that they are  hungry. When I was a little kid about 6 or 7 in the depression I went to bed hungry.  I can tell you it is no fun to go to bed hungry. People over here at the other facility are not thin or underfed because they have the mental ability to eat in spite of the bland food.  The portions here are normally huge.  Much larger than needed for people who do not do a lot of exercising.   

 Friends and relatives who think the way I do about not wanting Kay to go hungry and want to talk to the people at the facility to put some heat on them, leave a comment, if you do not have my email address.  You could talk talk to them.  Perhaps there is another reason for people going hungry, losing weight, we don't know about.  It is most common for people with dementia to just stop eating and  die.  Kay is way before that but that is the way they do it. But while Kay is here I want her to be as comfortable as possible. That means not hungry.

   

 

Sunday. nice visit

Kay with little sister Shirley.

Just got back from my daily visit  to Kay  She was in the community room with about 6 or 8 others.  No conversation was going on.  Which is usual. Alone  they normally can not start a conversation.  Kay was not asleep so she immediately saw me and smiled. I sat next to her a few minutes making some chit chat with the group.  Most of them can not create a conversation but will respond.  After a short time i took Kay into her room and gave her a toffee.  I was so tired I just turned on the TV ad we watched some ballet on the arts channel.  t seems lke when I get outside and do some exercising I can get over the dull tiredness that comes on me during the day after a poor nights sleep.  The shuttle didn't get me there until 2 pm After holding her for a while I took her back to the community room and I sat with her for a while. On the other side was apparently a new guy who wanted to talk. At first he sounds ok but before long you begin to wonder  whats he talking about.  Especially when he starts talking about going to Calgary that night to get his horse.  Nothing makes sense but things are all jumbled up in his mind it seems.  Sad situation  

I could see no reason to leave Kay there so I took her back to her room and then on out to get the shuttle back.  It was prompt and I was home  3:20.  The earliest for some time. 

A couple incidences.  On my way down to the room where we get our medicine  Called the Med room  naturally I heard some commotion in the hall and when I looked out I saw a man trying to get into rooms by checking doors.  He was also shouting something about locking the rooms or let me in.  I could not understand. So I went on but looked back and saw that when He got to my door he tried it but naturally it was locked.  I went back asked him what room his was and he said 429.  Well I live on the 5th floor so I told him to come with me and I would take him to the 4th floor as I told him he was on the wrong floor.  I let him off at the 4th floor and continued on to the Med room and told the attendents  that there was a guy lost on the 4th floor.  So I saw one run in that direction and figured it was taken care of. After dinner I went back to my room but at the room next door was "Nannie" a little old lady in a wheel chair who has a hard time getting around.  She moves very slowly.   I asked her what was wrong and she said she could not get in her room.  She had no key (again). I told her to come into my room and I would call the Med room and get someone to come up and open the door.  When she came in and saw the Orchid that Mary had given me the day she came over a week or so ago  it was fully opened up and looks real nice.  So I called the nurses station and got her back into the  hall so they could let her back into her room.   Two good deeds today. 

Doyal Gudgel

9/12/2013, Visit and observation about dementia

Don Brown, Geneva Hemry, Reta Brown, Shirley Ainley (front) ?, Kathleen, and School friend.

 I am really proud of Kay.  She never let herself go to pot.  If something needed fixing she had it fixed with the help of the plastic surgeon if necessary.  To this day she is about the weight she has been all her life. Of course her weight today is not the result of what she is doing.  Which brings something to mind I had never thought of.  I think it is astounding.  Not one of the people in her facility that has dementia  is overweight.  the only overweight people there are some of the nurses  Here at the assisted living facility they are not to house dementia sufferers although it appears some of the early stages of dementia are in some of the people here. Those people are not overweight although I have not looked at all of them. The people who I know had dementia were  not overweight.  Betty Brown, Jean Stay.  Both slender.  I have no idea if there is a connection of course as this is just a preliminary observation but I think it bears looking into.  

Kay and I went outside and sat for a while.  As long as we could before the bus came. I barely made it down to the pickup by the scheduled time of 2:30 and the bus was already there with passengers already on it.I had a decent ride while dropping off the passengers part of it through an old part of Tacoma where the people involved in shipping lived.  Well manicured lawns and well kept houses overlooking the bay.Some of the roads of Tacoma are made of ballast from the ships that came to Tacoma and dumped their ballast of concrete or rocks.  Tacoma made use of them by  paving roads in town.  Bad for cars and shuttle buses with no springs. And especially passengers riding the buses.

She doesn't look all that happy does she? Obviously before perma-press

Dianne visits from Achorage

At our house in Lake Forest Park

 I visited Kay the past couple days but am not going to visit her today.  Dianne is down from Anchorage  and has visited her so today I am taking the day off from a visit.  The past couple visits have been uneventful.  We, for the most part, just went to the patio and held hands.   I remember to take some Costco Toffee and she likes to suck on it.  There is not much to do when you cant drive and take her out for an outing.  I think she has her own clothes but she needs more slippers as she has only one pair and sometimes I cant find them.  I must email Tom and have him bring another pair or two  She seems to recognize me quickly when I first see her. Soon I want to bring her over here and give the inmates something to talk about.  I don't think the men will care when I bring her in but a lot of the women will I am sure.
I am finishing up a video of her scrap book she made of Shirley Temple.  Did you know that in 1936 Twentieth Century Fox gave her a 7 year contract at 1000 a week .  After that they gave her a raise to 1500 a week.  Fox was no doubt making millions off Shirley Temple. It was to be kept in a fund for when she was adult.  I wonder what   happened to it considering inflation.   

The video I made of the scrap book is 25 minutes long and describes the pictures, sometimes I read the articles Kay pasted in it.  If anyone wants a copy email me.  If you are a fan of Shirley Temple write.  I will also post it on youtube but youtube breaks it up into 10 minutes max time sections of course.  

Visit Kay and scan scrap book.

Kay and her Beauty Operator

Bob finally got here about 5 PM and we then went to visit Kay.  As expected she was eating dinner so we went out to the truck and he tried to get my police scanner working which he did.  

We went back and visited her for a while and she was so glad to see him.  I don't see how he could  not want to come back and be greeted so warmly again.  We wet down in the opposite direction to go home while  I looked for a place to eat.  I had seen a Jack I The Box in that direction yesterday with Tom.  Instead of Jack in The Box we found a fish and chips run by a couple Chinese or Japanese  which had a good menu so I bought us some at good price too.  Compares  well with eating at Jack in The Box or MacDonalds.  

We came home and he finished setting up the police scanner and connected the chargers to it and the Ham radio.  
Before he came I decided I had to do something with some Scrap books Kay made when very little.  One was a Shirley Temple scrap book still in one piece.  I scanned it but as usual I calculated wrong and did not do a good job.  I had intended to just give it a cursory scan but send the entire book to Shirley and didn't think I needed a good scan.  One of the reasons I am scanning these books is to get it on Google so it will be permanently on the internet.  So I will now have to redo it with the proper settings so it will  look good.  Dumb me.  If you want to know the hipe about Shirley Temple look it up in a day or two.  Kay did a great job accumulating information about Shirley Temple. Kay's sister was named after her.  I think it is a fine scrap book  and if you want to know about shirley temple be sure to  look it up.

She also made other scrap books that I am going to scan. Other people would just throw them out but I want them saved. They are not in good condition but the internal sheets are ok so I will also scan them too.  Great for fashions and what was going on in the early thirties.  Adjusting the scanner properly will get good results.  I  didn't set the scanner for best results the first scan. 

Kay  and sister Shirley at pool side in CA

Short sad visit today.

this

Kay at LFP

I'm sad since returning from seeing Kay.  I was there just a few minutes.  She was not dressed yet even though it was nearly 1PM.  Apparently this was one of her days she did not want to get up.  I put on a home movie and watched a few minutes of it sitting next to her on the bed while she held my hand.  She seemed to be sleepy and as she was not dressed  I decided to come home.  I think that might have made me feel a little guilty for leaving so soon but there was nothing I could do about making her wake up enough to want to go for a walk or sit on the patio.  But on the other hand I don't need any encouragement to  feel bad with her there and me here away from her. Something I have to live with.  Tom called a couple times and I wonder if he might be feeling a little guilty too.  The DVD I played for her I brought home and want to post it to youtube as there is a lot of stuff about early family at 3314.  

Kathleen and sister Shirley at 3314 NE 182 LFP

I sent this message to Shirley today regarding how Kay is getting along.  She was distraught a couple days ago when she recognized  
that her mind was not right. The past couple days have been very bad.  Kay recognizes 
that she is losing her mind but can not think or put words to what she wants to say.  A couple days ago she came in while the care worker was here and kept teflling me she was "bad" meaning she could not think.  She kept asking me for about a half hour what was wrong..  Yesterday. almost the
same thing except this time she kept saying she was afraid.  She also kept asking me if I was afraid.  She keeps asking me what is wrong.
 

Today I thought that was out of her mind more or less but when I went in to the bedroom a couple minutes ago it is still on her mind so it means she has the ability to comprehend the bad spot she is in.  All I can do is assure her I will be here for her.  

This gives me an appreciation for all the people who are going through this or have gone through it. 

Later she said she did not want bad things to happen.  I told her when you get old bad things will happen but I will be here for her.  I went in later and watched the rest of a movie from Netflix. When she is like this I have to spend time with her. I am trying mightily to get her movie finished so I can "retire"  from these pictures.  Years of pictures all I have to show is a big mess.  If you want advice on how not to do things call on me. My problem is I have to do something several times before I get it about where I want it.  As a result I do it half a dozen times.

Nothing very new

Nothing new with Kay other than the progression continues.  It seems her ability to know and think is continuing to be less and less. We will be going over to Spokane to Leoma's funeral.  On youtube you can see some of her interview with me and Loyal regarding the old times.  I was going to make a video and show it but I am not sure the church has a way of showing them.  The time is short so I don't have a lot of time to edit something.  Fortunately the video is ready to show as is. 

Take a look at Bills war. Virginia Sheldon created a story of his service with the 39th FA in WW2. Find it at Four years in the 3rd Inf in WW2