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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Kay and Tokyo revisited.

 The bus was very early this morning.  It has been very good since I have scheduled the pickup at 8 30.  The past two mornings she has still been in the dining room when I got there.  She has such a problem comprehending how I want her to get up and take hold of the walker.  The past few days she seems so much slower than she has been in the past.  My experiment of trying to get her to exercise more has not really worked.  If she is sleeping or drowsy I don't want to  force her to get up and work out if she is not alert enough.  If she doesn't want to get out willingly I just let her stay on the bed.  Today after I took her to give her the treats I took her down stairs to the public sitting area to watch what was going on.  There are overstuffed naugahide furniture to sit in and watch who comes in or works around the area.  Today there was nothing much just an occasional passerby.  But as I have to have something to do  that is just fine. She is happy I think.  Just being with me allows her to have something else to do than just watch the TV that she can't understand anyway. This is why I hate to have her there alone.  Nothing to do.  Maybe go to bed and sleep.

After we came back upstairs we went into the activity room and waited for exercises to start.  Before that started the leader was going around the area greeting people.  Two of them were Japanese.  She asked one, Coco, where she was born, then asked the new woman  where she was born.  That happened to be   Tokyo.  That got them started talking together as if they didn't need to be in  this place.  As  they conversed in Japanese we had no idea what it was all about.  The new woman  has an American name so I suppose she is married to an American. She looked old enough to be in Tokyo during the fire bombing that killed hundreds of thousands.  Too bad I cant get some real information about it from her.  After exercises I took Kay back to her room until the bus came.  I called and learned it was to be about half hour late so I got an extra 20 minutes with her.  

Monday, April 13, 2015

New transportation time.

 Kay was still at the breakfast table when I got there although the table had been cleared off.  I took her to the hall and gave her a couple truffles and a graham cracker.  We walked back to her room.  She was so slow when she walked.  We went in her room and I stayed with her because there was nothing going on by the time I left at 10:30.  Setting the pickup time and return time to 8:30 and 10:30 has so far improved the transportation immensely.  But it has only been 3 days so it may just be a fluke.  I may change the return time to 10:45 in case there is a delay in getting me there. 

The woman across the table from me has returned.  She was not at the table yesterday at all but that in itself is not all that unusual.  She frequently  misses being at the table.  It was pointed out to me that she did not have the name tag at her place and I thought she was either in the hospital or had suddenly moved.  But she would have said something about moving if it was in the works.  This morning they brought her name back to the table.  Eventually we will learn what is going on.  

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Nothing. I play a practical joke

 Nothing new from seeing Kay today.  I was there about an hour and a quarter.  But we enjoyed each others company as we she laid her head on my shoulder and she either slept or watch the tv as I did.  She didn't seem to want to take a walk so it was stay together.
What I remember about today was that one woman at the table talked about herself to me this morning for an entire hour.  I mean constantly.  She was not going to be here for lunch and I thought  dinner.  Wrong!  She was back for dinner and still wanting to talk.  This time in spite of the apparent discourtesy I decided I would  put on my headphones and listen to the radio.  It didn't seem to make any difference as occasionally I'd look over and she would be talking.  To me I suppose but occasionally I would lift one headphone and say I could not hear her.  

She almost always goes to church on Sunday and this Sunday was no exception.  Except this Sunday she was in a wheel chair as her feet must have hurt too much to walk.  She will be gone and eat at the Church.  Today she left the dining room before food was served and I saw her in the entrance to the lobby waiting for her daughter to pick her up.  This was a half hour after lunch would have been started to serve.  So I asked her if she had had anything to eat.  She said she had not and in response to question if she was hungry answered in the affirmative.  I asked the caregiver who was with her at the time to go to her place at the table and get the piece of Banana Cream Pie and get it for her.  As she went to get it I went on out to do my walking up the hill to get rid of some b/g.  When I came back where my table partner was she was still there.  So I asked her if the caregiver had given her the pie.  S he said no so I said I would go get it.  When I got to the table there was  no piece of pie at her place. I had eaten mine of course but at the two remaining places there was one.  Here I have a problem  It is late and highly unlikely they would come for lunch.  The lunch period was pretty much   over so they would not be coming.  In any case if I took one they could get another piece from the kitchen.  Now there was another problem.  One for the woman on my right was just a sliver of a piece.  The other one across from me was an extra big piece.  This is at the place of the woman who whimpers when she doesn't get a large helping of something she really likes.  Banana Cream pie is one of them.  So I figured I might as well play a joke  on her.  So I took the little piece of pie from my right and gave it to her and took her piece down to Alma.  She will probably not be there at all as her son is a part of the Seattle Mariners organization and I think they are playing in Seattle today. She is probably at the game.  In any case I took the pie down to Alma and went over to see Kay as soon as the bus came.  No one got  a chance  to see her reaction at the small piece of pie.  

Saturday, April 11, 2015

New transit time.

 I've changed my pickup time from  9 am to 8 30.  There were a lot of busses arriving at 9 which made my trip get put back to much later.  So far that has worked well but it makes it hard to get all things ready before that time.  Breakfast is at 8 so there is only a few minutes to get breakfast and be ready to go.  Mainly they don't always get the breakfast out in time to eat and finish the things necessary to be ready in case the bus is on time.  I am going to try an 8:45 pickup and see if that works ok.  Kay was in the dining room so I took her to where we get the treats.  As this is close to breakfast she has not been very hungry that early.  Yesterday she actually ate only part of a truffle.  It might have been the second one though.  However you can get tired of truffles.  We  tried a few minutes in the public area on the first floor for a while then back to her room for the remainder of my stay.    She seems to keep getting slower and slower but her mind seems to be about the same in other areas.  I don't know what to think.  

Come back tomorrow.  

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Another short but good visit

 Kay was in another room when I finally got there.  She still wanted to go into another room on the way to give her the truffles.  When we got set down every time she looked at me she smiled.  We both had to use my walker.  I only had 45 minutes there because my pickup was so late.  I decided to go at a different time.  /the  buses were very busy unloading people for Active Day.  I will try avoiding this mess in the future.   I  scheduled my pick up for 8:30 instead of 9:00. She seemed to want to lay her head on my shoulder when we got back to her room.  I was happy to do that. 

Tuesday, April 7, 2015


 I think takes walks looking for me.  When she does not find me she goes back to her room.  She had been in the dining room but left. I found her there and took her to what is now known as our picnic table.  That is what one of the caregivers called my trip there with the lunch box.  I thought that was nicer than truffles.  She ate a good breakfast they said but still ate a couple truffles,  then  two crackers.   But I did not offer her more.  Then I took her to the sitting area down stairs and we both had a little coffee.  Then it was back to her room.   I opted for the walk because only I benefit from the exercises.  She actually tried to copy the exercises that used the arms last time which was amazing.  She has done that only once.  Her walking was so slow.  It seemed that she was breathing hard when she sat down.  I tried to get a pulse/oxygen read but  I don't think it was successful.  The h/r seemed good but the oxygen level was not correct I am sure.  I will get her used to me doing it the she may let me give her the test without complaining. 

Back at the farm the Head nurse administrator was doing duty. The one on duty this morning had some sort of appointment.  She is getting better with the practice.  The Administrator I mean.  Things around here seem to be coming more sorted out.  They still have a way to go when the top of the line is doing line duty.  She's the one who could have gone into modeling.  I'll bet she is not a pound more than two kids and 20 (?)years ago 

Google is working better now that I uninstalled and reinstalled it.  I also told Google what I thought of how it was working.   

Monday, April 6, 2015

Late arrival.

 Late getting to see Kay.  It was 2 15 before I got there.  That left me only 45 minutes.  But as long as I show up I think it is OK. As I got off the elevator she was in front of it walking down the hall holding on to the side rail because she had no walker.  I kept her going to the site to get her truffle and before I left she had eaten 4.  I also gave her some crackers then I remembered I had a banana so she ate part of it but not  lot because she had probably eaten enough of the other stuff that by the time she ate the banana she probably was not hungry.  But in any  case this took most of the time and by the time we returned to the room they called and said my bus was waiting  Nuts.  No time for her today. But she took my leaving ok.  A new  bunch of students from  a school that teaches how to do this kind of work. As we walked towards them I heard one ask the other if we might be a couple. I don't look any different from any of the others.  Give someone a walker and they automatically think you must live there. 

/the woman across the table from me has a son who is head of the Mariners baseball team scouts.  He now directs the other scouts. Newly appointed to the position it looks like.  As she had not told us before today.  I gave her my book by Bernstein titled Diabetes Solution because a couple days ago she said she woke up with her feet hurting.  Her eating habits are atrocious so her diabetes is out of control.  She will eat 3 bowls of cold cereal and any thing else she can  get her hands on.  However she may have made a change because she no longer does some things she did in the past.  As a result she said she lost 10 pounds.  It doesn't show yet so I will have to wait longer to see if that is true.  But when she said the other day that her feet hurt before I flat out told her that if she did not do something about her diabetes she was headed for a lot of trouble. When she asked I told her I did not like to tell about it because they say curing eating habits (obesity) is  harder than curing cancer.   That stopping the smoking habit is childs play compared to changing how you eat.  I said I don't talk about it unless the person is really interested in it.  After some discussion I told her to take charge of her diabetes she should read my book on diabetes by Bernstein.  That was ok by her and she took the book.  I said she could have it for a week.  If it has not been read in a week it shows she is not really interested.  I will get my book back if it has not been read.  

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Kay is tired

 Kay seems quite tired the past two days.  She was in the dining room just putting her head down on the table when I came in and got her up.  She ate a couple truffles and a couple graham crackers.  Refused the banana.   She got up without my urging and started walking down the hall.  On the way to get her truffles she started to turn into a strange room which I later guessed she was tired and wated to go to bed.  But I got the treats to her and back to her room where she stayed the entire time of about 1 hour.  She has seemed tired lately and I wonder if something is going on that I can't see.  

I was able to walk up to the 1st Pres. Church and go to the Easter service.  I love the organ there but the modern religious music I don't care much for.  The Dr. is taking me off the atenalol which is a blood pressure med designed to limit the heart rate.  I seem to feel beter just after a week of half the dosage I was on.  Hopefully it wake me feel better when I get off completely.  My irregular heart beat is pretty bad.  I hope due to the atenalol.  Side effects will  kill you.  

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Not much

 Kay had gone back to her room by the time I got there. She seemed very tired so I just sat by her and let her rest. I did manage to give her a couple truffles. But I did nothing but sit beside her until time to go. I wish I could find her Ballard annual because there is a woman there who went to Ballard. I don't know what happened to it during the move here but I thought I had seen it.Last night I spent about an hour and a half on the post but it crashed somehow and I gave up.  

Friday, April 3, 2015


 Kay was in the dining room sitting next to her favorite spot.  In front of the heater.  I got her to get up and take her walker with difficulty.  Once started however she got to the truffle location.  Not particularly hungry it looked like.  Today they were having church service on the 2nd floor. We attended until it was time for me to take her back to her room so I could go home.  There were already several on the bus.  One who must have weighed 600 pounds.  I don't think I ever saw him before.  However most got off to shop at Costco which left only one other to drop off.  I think that person got off after I did so it did not delay me very much.  I got there about 11 45.   

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Hair cut and pictures

 Kay was in her room the caregiver said.  I went in and had the caregiver to check her over.  Soon the caregiver came back and said they wanted her down stairs to ger her hair cut.  After getting it cut we went to the second floor entrance and sat for a while and watched the people come and go.  Then back to her room.  She walking very slowly today.  I didn't walk her any more than usual so I am not doing very well in increasing her strength so far.  Here are some new  pictures of us.  Taken today.

After haircutn

That/s us

with stylist

Pictures are not very good.  I could not see well enough to set the flast to work.  

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Amazing development

 Amazing development today.  Kay did some exercises with us today.  I think she did some in the past one time but that was a long time ago.  So this is really startling.  She did some with her arms but when it came to other parts she did not do them.  A couple times, when I was not there because I came in the afternoon,  she showed up when they do them.  I think she was probably looking for me.  I had a hard time giving  her the treats as the Chinese guy followed us around so I didn't want to do it in front of him.  As they are particular about what they eat I cant give him anything even if I wanted to.  That would just make things worse anyway.  I guess it was his family that came to visit  him later today.    

It is pretty amazing though that she would do exercises,

Monday, March 30, 2015

rumor mill and blossoms i the street.

 I got there in good time.  Kay was dressed but  in bed.   She seemed to be sleepy or tired.  I thought I would wait to see if I should take her for her walk.  She acknowledged me but wasn't really awake enough for me to get her out of bed and take her for a walk.  As she seemed to prefer sleeping I did not offer her the treats.  I asked her if she felt bad or hurt but indicated with a small shake of her head that she didn't appear to be in pain.  So I just turned on RT and watched TV for almost an hour and a half.  When it was almost time to go I offered her a couple truffles which she ate.  So she got no walking in today's visit.  She just seemed to want to rest.  While there Peter Adams came in with one of my bags that I had left on the Shuttle.  I must learn not to unhook them from my walker then this would not happen.  This driver like several others knows me pretty well so brought it directly back to me.  It had most of my important stuff in it.  

A good example of why not to believe anything you hear here.  One lady at the xxxx this morning said that the other lady had gone to the hospital for some reason.  So I thought there might be something to it as the way she eats is atrocious.  For breakfast she has x bowls of xxxxx's, and what else she can get.  Like a couple Cinnamon rolls we get on Sunday.   I give her mine as I don't like the kind this place buys.   I wouldn't eat them anyway.  This menu is great for killing off diabetics.  The other night when she sat down at the table she looked down at her plate and started crying because she didn't have big enough portions.   However she showed up for breakfast so another rumor was shot down.  If I told you something she claims to have happened you would know I am in a loony bin.  So dont believe anything around here.  Another guy who seems quite rational said he saw a report about an assault on a woman that did great damage to her (assault not here)  but I thought how did he get the report in the first place.  So you can discount what he says.  
 cherry blossoms
The cherry trees in front of this place.  There was a big wind one day and blew down a lot of the blossoms.  I don't think the pictures are very good but I cant tell my eyes are so bad. The top one is the street in front and then a car covered with blossoms. 

Sunday, March 29, 2015

How about getting Kay to talk?

 I did a afternoon visit as I wanted to go to walmart in the morning.  I was going to go to church but I had to cancel that idea and go to walmart  

Pretty routine.   Got her to walk about 12 or 13 minutes.  This new chinese guy has sort of attachd himself to me.  they all need attention.  If you give it to them they become attached to you.  When I want to give her the treats it is hard to do with this guy hanging around.  In fact he wants to get into my bags or even try to take off with my walker.  He is very pushy which makes it difficult to visit with Kay.  But of course this is the way it is so I have to try to not do something that hurts him. I walked Kay about the same as yesterday.  I want to try to get her to  talk.  It seems she pays  attention when I try to get her to say words.  I have not done much but now I will try to concentrate a little more.  It would be so good if I could bring her speech back.  She can at times make sentences. Rarely though.  

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Stop watch came today

 I got the new stop watch today and have already used  it today.  I wanted to know if I should have her do her exercising all at once or try to get her out twice during my stay.  Today I  did it all in one piece.  Although we went down stairs and sat in the sort of community area then came  up stairs.  I am pretty sure it will be easier to do it all at once because if she gets tired it will be hard to get her up to do it again.  We easily did 12 minutes today and she was much faster.  Yesterday it took her five minutes to go from where we do  truffles but today it only took her 3 and a half minutes.  Mentally she seemed much better off today too.  I'm too tired to do much typing today maybe tomorrow  I will feel much better about writing.  About dinner I get lonesome for her.  That I noticed today.  

Friday, March 27, 2015


 I continue to miss Kay in the evening after dinner.  I would go see her twice a day if it didn't take the entire afternoon or morning.  I still intend to try it. She is so very slow.  I think that is a continual condition.  She ate quite a bit of the treats I came with which means she is not eating breakfast to any extent.  She eats about 8  and I get there from 9 15 to 10 00.  She would be continually hungry if  didn't bring her something to eat.  I also think if I didn't go to see her she would be dead by  now.  Or at least starting the process by not getting enough nourishment. Anyone reading this should   remember that she would be starving to death. 
If I were not there she would be hungry all the time. All  of us know how hunger feels.  We fix that problem as soon as we can.  I hate to think of her being hungry.  I may start going over regularly two times a day.  What happens if I am not there to help? I get away from lonesomeness for her by trying to fix up a decent video of her from our collection of film and pictures.  This is too maudlin.  Forget I said it   Have a nice day   

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Some News

 Kay was in another room in another bed.  She had gone there recently as the caregivers saw her in the dining room last time. I took her to her favorite spot and gave her the usual.  She was quite hungry.  They say she does not eat much breakfast so she being hungry is no surprise.    Then to the other place to sit in the hall near her room.  I decided she might like to get some fresh air so we went to the second floor and then outside and sat on the bench in the sun.  No wind there so it was hot.  So it was back up to her room for the remainder of my stay. She seems to be slowing down in every respect.  Mentally and physically.  I believe when we were walking in the outside yard she walked towards a small green tree and had   not realized how to get around it.  I may be hasty with this conclusion I  may have reacted faster then she was going to. But it seemed she had walked into the tree and had not figured out that she had to go around it.  

A--- raised a big ruckus yesterday about me comparing her and Kay walking speed.  When she doesn't know what to do she just screams insults and calling people dirty names.  She has gotten by for 9 years this way.  She screams insults and the people cant take it and leave the table.  But those of us there now are not impressed and let her scream.  In fact if they  would not say anything at all she would finally stop.  But  yesterday they/we didn/t stop and any attempt for us to reason with her just created a bigger outburst. As I said yesterday a pill tech came over and gave her the "now now" treatment and she finally stopped her whimpering and calmed down.  For 9 years she has ruled the roost with her tantrums and cant handle any opposition.  One day she sent a new server away in tears because of her insults.  She has gotten the special treatment so long she expects to get food not on the menu  making the kitchen people go to extra lengths to get the food out to every one. Yesterday the others at the table held their ground knowing that any comment would just make her outburst more mean and viscous.

I don't know if there is anything to the rumor that they will be putting cameras in the halls.  It is oppressive enough now.  Every employee is a spy as it is now. There are no secrets here.   They should put them in Med room or Kitchen.  Better yet put them in their dementia facility where the people are helpless to protect themselves.  This place has been here 16 years.  They should list the times a camera would have helped avoid an incident.  I dont think they have reported any thefts.  How many assaults have occurred where the camera would help.  I can list one, no two, over at the other place against Kay, just Kay alone,  that would have  helped.  That is where they are needed.  

 Have a nice day.  



Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Big noise at table 8

 My first day of going over twice in one day.  She was hungry and ate several things.  Almost a whole banana.  

Big noise at table 8 in the dining room this evening.  I was telling the other three about going over twice a day to see Kay hopefully to bring back her walking strength.  I was telling them she has to walk or they will move her to the 1st floor.  It has a limited view of the outside. Very depressing.  It is for those in the final stages of dementia.  It still would be depressing to have Kay put there.  I was telling them how slow  she walked and compared her to the speed that Alma walks.  Now, I was pretty sure Alma might be sensitive about how she walks but she has been trying to be pleasant lately and I thought she could understand what I was trying to do.   She  mulled it over a while then began to attack in a rage any of us who didn't roll over and get up and leave in a huff.  Instead we just let her rant.  Karla tried to say something but she was screamed at by Alma calling her brain damaged.  Me, she said I smelled.  I cant think of what she called Debbie but we all just sat there letting her rant.  She was in such a rage that she would not calm down but continued on until the pill person came over and got her to calm down.  Giving her the "now now" treatment.  When we had made our point that she could not drive us away with her insults we got up promising to be back in the morning.  She has been driving people away from this table for nine years now and for people to sit and let her rant is something she cant cope with.  Others cave in to her rants and insults and as we don't follow suit it is a situation she cant cope with.  She even tried to invoke the Owner Hanson in her rant but that didn't work either. We just sat there and let her rage.  

That is enough for today.  Time for a break.   

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

New effort to exercise more

 I am making an effort to get Kay to walk now.  The problem is that she may also be mentally failing likewise.  Her responses today may be one of her bad days.  I don't remember the good days and how they compare.  Maybe they both go together.  In any case I am going to keep trying to get her to walk just in case that is because I have not required her to walk enough to keep strong. Tomorrow I will go twice a day. I will evaluate the results and schedule another day.  Probably Thursday. She ate truffle, banana, and graham cracker. 
she didn't smile much when I left as she normally does.  Is that due to her decline?  Maybe she is just tired.  
Have a nice day

Monday, March 23, 2015

New Idea

 I was late to see Kay.  I wanted to talk to the head nurse to tell her I was going to come twice a day.  I wanted to ask her about Kay's strength to walk.  Is that just the advance of her dementia and would could I help and strengthen her by  walking her more and more.  Maybe I didn't ask her right because I  don't remember a definite answer to my question.  I believe it will work.  So I will be going twice a day most days starting Wednesday. I will have to figure out how much to walk and a way of timing it so I know if she is getting stronger.  We walked some then I took her to the 2nd floor which has some furniture set as a lobby to sit and visit.   Although I was there only an hour we got in quite a bit of  walking.  

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Great news

 Great news.  They are looking into the program that is supposed to be able to reverse dementia.   Kay  was in the TV room.  With the others.  She does not watch TV,   She is at the stage where she wants to be with others it looks like.  I took her to give her the treats.  I got to talking to a trainee who is very interested in WW2.  I will get in touch with him later.  He wants a picture of us on the beach.  Finally someone interested.My grandchildren dont seem to be.  My attention was on him so much that Kay must have felt left out and headed out without a walker.  We got her to her room.  In the confusion she wound up with the truffle bag.  I don't know how many if any were eaten when my attention was diverted.  It seems though there were not many left.   She knows where I keep them.  

Friday, March 20, 2015

UCLA is not a quack outfit

 Kay was dressed but in bed.  I gave her truffles and a graham cracker.  Because I got there late as usual I just stayed in her room as she seemed so sleepy. The return shuttle was almost on time so this was short visit.  

Got an email from one of Shirleys kids today.  They seem to be in a wait and see mode as far getting as Shirley's dementia is concerned.  She said Shirley knew of the dementia so I guess there is no doubt about it. When  Shirley told me she was getting lost there was no doubt in my mind.  This wait and see mode is just wait and see her get worse and worse as she dies.  I have told them the consequences of this.  It is up to them.  Getting her on the UCLA program if there is one is a lot of work.   But not nearly the work they face if she is left to keep advancing with dementia.  I don't want to be a nuisance.      

Thursday, March 19, 2015

What goes on where Kay is

 I finally got them there at Cascade to put paper towels in the bathroom.  The the next day they were  out of toilet paper.  I reminded Hannah of being out so I expect her to take care of it.  That is important as some of the women in Kay's room still use it normally so the paper is needed.  Whether the women wash their hands I dont know but there should be towls there to dry in any case.  I dont know how these places can say they are good if these things are left undone  I sent an Email to the administrator about the paper towels after 3 days but she never got back to me.  They could pay their help maybe 50 cents more an hour to do a good job and replace the under performing ones.  The turnover is huge.   All the beds have two pillows.  Yesterday Kay had only one.  So I had to tell them.  She can not tell them.  I use one when I visit her.  So of course I notice.  

They finally found the missing remote to the tv.  As I suspected it was found in one of the dresser drawers of the lady in the next bed.  She was the only one who could have known where it was so I suspected her.  I could not search her things of course so I just had to wait and see.  

Kay was very slow today.  And yesterday too.  She could not do the simplest request to turn her walker.  Is this a major change in her? If so this is what I wrote about in my DVD "Love Is. What this DVD really means.  Write and I will send you one.   

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Good visit but sad

 Kay was sitting in the activity room this afternoon when I got there at 2PM.  She immediately recognized me so I took her to the hall where she had the usual.  She was quite hungry eating 2 truffles, graham cracker and most of a small banana.  There was nothing going on in the activity room.  However some were going down to the 2nd floor for some thing the name I didn't know.  So as I had just got there at 2 and would have to leave at 3 we just stayed there.  What ever it was it was not something Kay could participate in.  One of the caregivers said she went to the activity room for the morning activities and stayed there the entire time  She might have been looking for me.  I am so concerned about her having to do nothing I am thinking of going there twice a day.  I would have to spend a lot of time in transportation there but I want to spend more time with here.  All she can do is just sit there looking at the walls.  What she is thinking about I don't know.   So many just walk the halls doing nothing.  I have to consider too maybe extending my time in one block instead going twice.  I could have lunch there.  Doing it longer seems to make it harder for me to get away without her wanting to go with me.  That is the hard part.  She has got used to me leaving and she doesn't seem to mind.  However that leaves the rest of her time with nothing to do.  Just stare at the walls.  I have spoken to one of the men there and as a result he now tends to follow me around.  Sad.  Kay is easy to take care of and needs to be with her family.  If I were not going blind I would take her from this and take care of her myself. My loneliness does not get any easier.   I could say more but I am tired. 

Monday, March 16, 2015

A Cure For Dementia

   Kay moves so very slowly but was alert enough to recognize me immediately.  I took her to get the treats then downstairs to watch people coming in.  We got a cup of coffee.   Nothing was going on in the activity room so I took her back to her room.  She actually dozed off during this time before I went home.

UCLA has pretty well established that dementia can be reversed if done in time.   It was a fairly small number in the program all of them recovered,  The participation  of the patient is vital so if the person with dementia is too far gone they cant be saved.  Others look into it.  It sure beats the horrible effects of dementia.  This is wonderful news.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

The Rumor Mill

got to see Kay early today.  However nothing was going on so after I gave her a couple truffles I took her downstairs and we sat in the sort of family area to see what was going on.  After a while we went back to her room for the remainder of the stay.  

I have said you cant believe anything you hear around here.  There seemed to be some sort of shake up involving firings some said on account of background checks.  Later however there seemed to be a simple explanation for the confusion.  So from here on I wont even start to believe rumors floating around unless I see it for myself. 
See You 

Friday, March 13, 2015

Eating out with Kay

 Tom and Peg took Kay and me out to eat today.   Before we left and when we first got there I suggested to the Caregiver that they check her over before we left to be sure she was OK to leave.  Well, this was easier said than done.  She really objected to leaving me  even an instant and raised a ruckus when the care giver tried to lead her away from me.  Tom and Peg were standing there watching her. .  In order to be sure she was in condition to leave I persuaded her to go back to her room where I thought more familiar surroundings would encourage her to allow the Caregiver to do her job.  Even there she didn't want me to leave her for an instant but less vociferously.  I helped the caregiver for a little while then she was able to do the job. We went out and had a nice lunch then back to her place where I got her to lay on her bed and waved goodbye when I told her I would be back tomorrow.  Looks like familiar surroundings made the difference.  I need to somehow get her accustomed to my not being there every day so my not coming wont be  such a shock.  This may take a while to do that. My first thought is to alternate my trip between morning and afternoon.  Starting Sunday I will go over in the afternoon.  That will allow me to go to church on Sunday. I really appreciate Tom and Peg taking the time to take us out.  A day is shot doing this. Stay tuned for further developments.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

KAY ok

 Kay seemed normal today.  So nothing to report there.  

The one time here when I don't look at the pills I take they give me someone else's pills.  The stacked head nurse came to tell me and explain what they were for.  Looks like nothing lethal.  It didn't kill the one that should have got them so I should be ok.  Doctors mistakes kill more people than cars so it is a good idea to check anyway.  

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Kay, free DVD,

Kay was on her bed and awake .  I took her for her treats but came back to see if there was wireless connection to the internet available.  As expected there was a network easily identifiable. That gave me hope that they would let Tom and me check Skype out.  We went to the activity room  before they were done in the exercise room which includes going over the news and what went on in history. I took Kay back to her room so we could be together a while and also to be there when I had to come home.  This in order to be where she accepts my going more readily.  

When  home I composed an email to the administrator there explaining how I could help get the idea of Skype for residents of the place if I could get internet access. Tom and I could test Skypes effect on Kay (if any) by me talking to her there.  If she was effected when she couldn't talk people who could talk back could certainly benefit.  Later I got an email back telling me they had to talk and vote and who knows what else to do anything without a lawyers OK.  That is like saying they cant hook up a computer (which I wanted to do,) without a vote and consulting a lawyer.  This indicates to me that she didn't have a clue about what had to be done.  She claimed she thought it was a great idea but actions speak louder than words.  She needn't worry too much about my reaction because my part in this is very minor. Kay can not benefit from the system.   All I could do is tell them if the idea might work or not.  Kind of a vital bit of information though.  Now if they decide to pursue the idea they will have to do it themselves.   Previously  I offered to work with the internet expert.  I don't know him and never met him so I have no idea what his attitude is to very old residents.  Many of the workers in a place like this seem to think everyone in it knows nothing about this digital age like they do.  My offer still stands though. It's up to them.  I am on to other things.

Yesterday morning the Activities Director and her assistant  stopped by my table after the announcements and told me the DVD I gave her assistant to watch was the most moving and emotional she had ever seen. She might have meant of this kind. I have had some good responses from others but this one was the best.  They said they cried when they watched it.  If that interests you make a comment.  You might get a free one.  

Monday, March 9, 2015


 I found Kay in her room awake.  I put her slippers on her and we walked to the truffle location.  When I passed by the activity room it had not been made up for a  meeting and sure enough there was no meeting.  It seems that now there are more people going to active day they are not holding meetings in the activity room.  So as it was after 10 anyway we went back to her room for the remainder of my visit.  

Sunday, March 8, 2015


 Kay was in her room.  She needed some personal attention before I took her to the hall for her truffles.  She moves so very slowly.  She seemed a little slower today mentally. There have been students from a school for workers in this field at Cascade  and naturally it is assumed that anyone with a walker is living there. That's the way they talk to you. I gave a DVD of me and Kay on Pismo Beach 1944 to one of the nurses here.  She watched it with her husband last night.  I hear tho he is not quite her husband yet.  A very nice person.  I put it to some romantic music and told her to watch it when they were in a romantic mood. Just 5  minutes long.   OK. ring the curtain down now.  

Friday, March 6, 2015

Church Today

 Kay was awake in bed. Lots from her floor were on their way to Active Day.  They were setting up to have the Church Service usually held on Friday.  I gave her a couple truffles and a ritz cracker.  then I took her downstairs to the Service.  As I didn't get there until 10 it  was a short visit.  Besides the return bus was on time making it shorter.  We sat for most of the service not more than half an hour so I took her up to her room in  case the bus was on time or even early.  Which it was. It was early.  So we had short visit but she seemed happy and smiled every time I looked at her.  Looks like I have to have a Microsoft account for me to sign up with Skype.   I don't have to buy anything but they want me to be able to buy Apps.  I really hate being forced to sign up for the service. ore later

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

A proposal for Cascade

 A longer visit with her today as transportation by shuttle was on time.  I didn't find her in her room or activity room.  She was in the TV room without her walker so she walked down at least from breakfast without it as there is where I found it. We both shared my walker to our spot where I gave her the usual treats. They were doing exercises so I took her back and participated with them for a while.  Kay indicated she wanted to go somewhere else so I got her walker and when we went into the hall she indicated she had no preference which direction she wanted to go so I took her to her room  and she lay down.  She seemed tired although she didn't close her eyes.  I started a DVD of mine and lay down beside her with head on my arm to watch  it. It is one I intend to send to a friend but it needs additional work before I can mail it.  I could check out what it needed at her place.  I'm really put out that my remote for the TV has not been found.  There were only a couple residents there who knew where it was hidden but it seems not much effort was put into trying to find it. 

People in these places can never seem to get over wanting to get out and go home.  Two relatives  of Kay's died from dementia with a broken heart I believe.  It was just a few months after being put into  one of these places they died.  They were from a home where they had raised a family and had lived for many years.   I think that if those who can recognize their family and also talk might be able to recognize and benefit from  seeing their loved ones on a screen where they can also talk to them.  Eventually when they get dementia they lose their ability to talk on the phone.  They can hear but not really understand what is going on.  I have found from audio recording I made way back in 1950 brings back a realism of the speaker much more than a picture of the person.  My theory is that if the two were combined there is a possibility that the resident might want to talk to them.  The people who can still talk on the phone don't need this or those like Kay who can not talk probably wont benefit.  However I am going to try this with Bob's or Tom's help and see if she recognizes me with this arrangement. I've got to contact Tom first as he is more available.  I don't know if he has Skype installed.  I had it installed when it first came out but never used it.  Now I want to talk to Cascade and offer my help so it would take only their engineer and me to set it up and try it out. These places have their committees and bureaucracy just like big government do  even though this is not a big organization.  If this should work it could benefit the lonely forlorn people spending the rest of their lives cooped up like in a jail.  They say they are concerned about those in their care.  We will see.  If this works Cascade could make a name for itself. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

A skypes tri with Kay

 I am  worried now.  Kay has become so accustomed to my visits that she goes looking for me.  I got there about the usual time today and the caregiver said she went in to the dining room.  That is where we have the meetings.  Recently very erratic.  But  today the Caregiver said she was there but I didn't find her there or her room.  So I went to our  place in the hall and she was coming back from there obviously not finding me.  So I returned her there where we had the usual treats.   Some times I have to cancel a morning visit for one reason or other.  I don't know what is going on but exercise meetings are very  erratic lately.  I've seen groups going to Active Day recently many from the third floor where she lives. Now that she goes looking for me means she will be disappointed and I don't  know how she will take it.  

I met with the Administrator there about trying out a Skype kind of setup to give relatives and loved ones a chance to meet with their people in the facility.  Although she said it was a good idea I felt it was a lukewarm reception because her first reaction was that there might be a couple there who could handle it.  If she meant someone who could talk on the phone that is not what I meant.  It is entirely possible that it will not work at all.  But without trying it we will  not know.  I know from my experience  that hearing someones vice may be more real that seeing a picture.   I have family recordings going back to 1952 actually 1945 and when I hear someones voice from that era it gives a presence as real or more real of that person than looking at a picture of the person taken at the same time.  The voice seems to connect to the person now where the picture connects to them as they  were then. There is a difference.  I may just skip having Cascade look into it and get Bob to try it out some time with me and Kay.  If it doesn't seem to work we can just skip it.  Getting Cascade to do a real test as I want it mcaay not work.  The guy in charge may not put the effort into it that I want.  If it works Cascade would develop a real reputation for innovation.  

I asked a FOE request for how many emergency calls the Tacoma Fire Dept made in the last year there is a record of how many related to diabetics.  They are so worried about me overdosing but last I checked these 800 people were under  a doctors care.  

Monday, March 2, 2015

A new idea for Dementia

 During my visit today I went to the administrator and proposed to create a web cam hookup that would allow any relation and friend to talk to their relatives at Cascade.  I think that some there can get some benefit by watching and conversing with someone when there is both video of the person talking to them.  That may come  close enough to the real in person conversation This has to be a two way video and two way talking.  Her first reaction was that there might a couple there that could do it but her attitude indicates a closed mind before considering all options.  I think it possible that a person there who can still recognized their wife or husband can also perhaps recognize that person when they can hear their voice at the same time they see a video.  Tomorrow I go to the dementia support group and I will try to get a discussion on the subect.  I think her knee jerk reaction shows what her initial representation will be to the committee she  gives it too.  In spite of the fact she later thought it would be a good idea.  It might be a good idea but it will go nowhere unless she believes enough that she pushes the idea to the others.  We will see.  

Kay was with me when I was talking to her.  She was sitting and I was standing as there was not room for another chair.  After a while Kay got up and it seemed she just wanted to be standing next to me as long as I was standing.  I tried to get her to sit down but she insisted on standing.  
I missed the discussion group as  before they started I had taken Kay down to the area where guests and patients sit and talk.  This to give her some variety.    

Saturday, February 28, 2015

slow today

Nothing going on at Kays's place.  I took her for a walk around the halls. I have made a friend I think with one of the men there.    Now I may start taking Kay for a walk and find he is following.  After a while however he  gets tired of following or maybe forgets why he is following me and goes on his way.  He talks real well but you have to ask him something.  He never starts a conversation. There was no activity so at the end of the visit I just told Kay I would see her tomorrow.  I will go in the afternoon so I can go to church in the morning.  Brilliant sun but cold wind here today. 

Friday, February 27, 2015

Long visit today

 Kay was on her bed while the caregiver made the bed next to hers.  I walked her to the hall and gave her a couple truffles and half a banana.  I got there quite early, about   9 15.  What I should have done as there was to be a long visit would be to get out some the games or puzzles and see if she can still participate in putting them back together.  The last time I tried it she had no interest in even trying.  We spent a while in her room but she eventually indicated she wanted to get up.  Next time I will get to the puzzles sooner as it was too late to get into it. One of my favorite supporters now has dementia. A terrible shock.  I had not heard from her for a while and called her. After some talk she said she would probably have to stop driving because she could not find her way home at times.  That is a dead give away.  There is no question.  That is all it takes to know.  That one sentence told me without doubt.  Really terrible.     She has been much help to me I wish I could help her.  

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Afternoon visit

 Nothing was going on when I got there in the afternoon.  She was on the bed but awake.  I gave her a truffle but then walked her to the hall where we had the rest of her treats.  As this was the afternoon nothing was going on. When leaving one of the caregivers who conducts the morning exercises and news reading told me that she came to the activities room on her own.  I think  she thought that Kay came because of habit.  But it  is not so regular.  After thinking it over she may have been looking for me.  That gives me a hollow feeling in my stomach.  That she would go looking for me.  That's OK but she was disappointed and didn't find me.   I had rescheduled my trip to this afternoon.  I could have done it in the morning but that would have messed up my afternoon events. I was thinking of doing this twice a week,  Three times acthually because I wanted to go to church on Sunday.  I think I will change my time over there to slightly later and go back to the mornings.  Naw, that is no improvement.  All  morning visits except for Sunday. She depends on me so  much I will stay mornings except for Sunday.  Some days they don't have anything going on in the activity room.  Schedule is  irregular anyway so I can't depend on activites every day. Employees  don't show up and for other reasons. Lincoln the administrator said tonight at the formal dinner I should have brought Kay  Unfortunately I have no way of getting her here except by cab. A little pre-planning for the next one might permit me to get her here for the next dinner.  

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Short visit today

 Kay didn't seem to want to be in the activity room where they were preparing for the days events.   I found her on her bed but awake.  I immediately took her into the hall for her treats.  She seemed inclined to want to go into the activity room when we passed by but I wanted to give her her treats.  After the treats I took her back to the activity room where they had already finished exercises so we listened to current events and other news for a while.  The bus didn't get there until 9 45.   A little after 
10 30 I took her back to her room and stayed there until the bus came at 11 00 straight up.  A short visit. She walked a little faster today.  Mentally about the same.  

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Good visit today. Bad ews nelsewhere.

 Kay was in bed but dressed.  When she saw me she immediately smiled in recognition.  A good sign.  She had her shoes on so I took her our for a walk and her treats.  She walks slowly.  Her ability to do something is also very slow.  What I mean by that is her ability to do something.  For instance I bring the walker for her and have to almost put her hands on the bars.  I don't just point at them I have to take her hands  and put them on the bars.  But she recognized me instantly  
.  I don't know if this is a temporary condition or a development of her dementia.  I can tell you I do not take this being apart easily.  I learned a couple a days ago that another person I know who has been a great help has dementia.  I am totally devastated. I depended upon her so much.  I bought a tiny digital sound recorder the other day expecting to make voice notes to help in writing my daily report.  So far I have not made a comment during the day then used it when doing the report.  I had several things I wanted to  remember but did not put them down.  It seemed at the time I could remember them when I did my report.  Tomorrow I will try to put them down.  Hopefully it will make this more interesting and informative.  

Monday, February 23, 2015

Quiet time with Kay

 Kay was in the dining room soaking up the heat coming from the hot air register.  She came with me to our place in the hall and I gave her a couple crackers and truffles.  I hid the truffles after that.  She now doesn't wait for me to get them out.  She even goes for seconds without me.  Nothing going on so we stayed in her room for the time with her.  

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Really really dull today

 Kay was still in her bed but dressed.  I sat beside her and gave her some truffles then two or three Ritz crackers.  I held her hand for a while then took her downstairs and sat in the reception area to watch people coming and going.  Then back to the 3rd floor and a walk around the hall.  then back to  her room until time to go.  No action in the activity room today.  

Saturday, February 21, 2015

I looked took Kay into  the hall where she seemed very hungry.  There was nothing going on today.   This is Sturday which might have accounted for it.  But it was on the schedule so more likely someone didn't show up.  Got me a chance to rest up anyway.  If she wants a truffle now she just goes to my bags and gets it.  I'll  have to take measures so she doesn't overeat the candy stuff.  She gets enough now.  

The lady at  my table goes to Active Day a place for people who needs mental stimulation.  She goes for the exercise.  Yesterday they  kicked her out.  She did something they didn't like.  They told her they were closing for the day.  But she found out they were still open.  It didn't seem to bother her much.  I'm not surprised.  She will blow up at a moments notice.  One moment ok but say something she doesn't like and she is off on a rant.  Didn't work with them looks like. My bet is they will ban her.  I think she has met her match. She has been here 9 years.  Too bad as she really needs it.  She can barely walk.  She takes 3 or 4 inch steps.  But wants the exercise so much she wont take a wheel chair.  She lives on pain pills.  I hope she has the sense to try to negotiate a settlement and keep her mouth shut.  More tomorrow.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Lunch with Kay

I stayed with Kay today for lunch.  She ate practically nothing.  Might have been because I gave her too many treats.  One care giver there said she eats well when I am coming.  But today I gave her too many treats.  It was unsalted mashed potatoes and gravy.  (Canned) and meat loaf.  the prepare food for people with no teeth.  I salted her's today but it didn't help.  He also said she is happy when I am coming.  As I stayed until 1 pm today she did not want me to leave.  You hate to see this happen.  It is hard to leave someone who cant comprehend what is going on but you have to.  The reason I am trying this out.  Which is better.  She was very used to me coming then leaving.  She never seemed to be hurt like she seemed today.  This will take more testing.  I bought a digital voice recorder to take notes during the day and not have to write it down which I never looked at again anyway.  Hopefully this will improve and become more informative.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Kay was very hungry today.

 Kay was hungry.  She ate a couple truffles then a couple ritz and one graham.  I wanted to stop there because I didn't get there until 10 and it would ruin her lunch if she ate too late.  So I took her to the activity room and we listened and I participated in the exercises.  While this was going on she started getting into my bags where I keep the treats so I let her have one truffle that she could eat without being too obvious to the others.  Especially the first one because she pops it whole into her mouth.  I decided by then it was time to take her to her room as it was getting late and we could have our time together there.  I left about 5 after 11 but then I had to wait over a half hour for the bus.  I could have been with her that time.  

Tomorrow I stay for lunch and go home at 1 pm

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

More time with Kay coming

 Kay was very hungry.  I was late and found that she had gone from the activity room to the TV room.  Looking like she didn't know what to do. She saw me and followed me into the hall and our place for treats.  We went back to the activity room and listened to the leader go over events and history for us.  I went back to her room with her and stayed there until time to go.  

I had asked Walberg yesterday to OK my eating over with Kay occasionally at noon.  I expected him to come up with a provisional OK to be OK'd by whoever OK's these things.  But he started thinking of things that had to be checked out first.  But this morning Lincoln called to me as I went out that it was fine and to just ask for a plate to be set for me.  As I have to coordinate the meal with my shuttle trips I need to tell them a day in advance anyway.  I am going to try a longer stay from time to time that would run into the lunch hour.   I could have ordered an afternoon trip but that takes my entire afternoon. 

The state is doing a detailed investigation of this place.  Whether it is a routine random investigation or for a reason I dont know.   How  these things work I presume the investigation is something done  in the course of doing business.    

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Sleepy Kay

Kay was sleepy today so we stayed in her room I was going to take her to the exercise room.  I am trying to make arrangements to eat over at her place and if I can I will stay until one pm.  If not I may try going over in the afternoon for a while like I do in the AM.  If I do this it will shoot the whole day

Monday, February 16, 2015

A great day out

 Yesterday  I think Kay had a wonderful time.  Tom and I went over about 9 45 ad waited a few minutes until the caregiver made her up.  We then took  her to church and got there about 10 20.  Just right.  When people stood she also stood but I could see she was not comfortable standing so I told her to sit.  She sat through the service just fine.  WE took her back
74 Years together.  
to be checked over at Cascade and then to OCB.  It was a wonderful day.   She enjoys  being with her kids.  She also likes to get out of the place.  Eve though she might not show it I know from past experience she gets bored looking at the 4 walls there.  All of them do I believe.  Today nothing going on but I leaned something about being blind.  I bought a voice recorder the other day but it had no manual.  I got to talking to a bus driver and he said they were used to keep a record of where you put something down.  As I was looking for the recorder I could see how it could help me keep track of things.  Now I make sure what I want is out in the open so I can see it.  I would improve on it by having two channels. One for normal recording and the other saved for where things are put down.  In this case someone had moved the recorder so that was the reason I could not find it. 

Friday, February 13, 2015

Ready for Sunday

 Kay was  dressed sort of but still in bed.  Except that an attendant was taking her to the bathroom.  For some time she wanted to touch my face and look at me.  It's nice to be loved like that. On the other hand it worries me because if I don't show up how much will it affect her?  

I went yesterday to walmart ad got some makeup to be put on her Sunday morning before we go to church.  I talked to one of the girls there the other day who said she would apply it.  I havent   seen her since then so I am not sure she will be there to do it. I got eyeliner, lipstick and eyebrow pencil.  Being Sunday there will be few people there to do it if that girl is ot there.  Here is hoping. 

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Quite normal today. Short Visit

 Kay looked like she might be hurting.  She was in the acttivity room so I could not really ask.  I participated in the exercises for a few minutes then she got up to go so I took her for her truffles then back to her room.  After treats her expression that might mean pain was no longer there so I assumed she was ok.  Slightly different today because as I got close to her she wanted to caress my face and hold my hand. She didn't smile I don't think but just looked intently at me.  

She is so much easier than many with dementia to manage.