Kay seemed very slow today. I found her in the activity room but nothing was going on this Saturday. She seemed unable to do anything. She looked at me with her mouth slightly open. She would look at me but no smile, or attempt to hold my hand. I would lean over and tell her I love you but there would be no change of expression. Just her eyes would follow me. There was just a few in the room but nothing to do. I managed to get Kay up and take her into our place in the hall where I gave her the usual couple of truffles and part of a banana. The caregiver said she did eat something but I didn't learn how much. I took her to her room and had her cleaned up then she laid on the bed to rest. From then on it was just watch RT until time to meet the on time bus.
There is lots of diabetes and early dementia. The lady across the table from me is quite forgetful of some things that a lot of old people forget. However there were 3 incidents recently that cause me to be fairly surely she has dementia. 3 times recently she claimed she was going to Seattle or Vancouver, her home town, for a few days which never came about. Another thing is her tendency to blowup at inconsequential things. Like a late delivery, getting the wrong thing for dinner that she thought she ordered I have no doubt she is developing dementia. Then the old lady behind me at the next table who almost every day asks me how my wife is. The next question is how old is she. She is always shocked when I tell her 93. She is a German war bride. Her husband was in Berlin during the occupation and married her. I wanted to show her some Pictures of Berlin and other occupation picures after dinner but she would forget we had the appointment and disappear before I could tell her I had the pictures to show. They are on a memory stick for one of these electronic picture frames. So eventually I just gave up. Now and then I amaze her with a word or two of German that I learned while there. One time I played the tune in German named "Lil Marlene" that I put on a DVD She knew the tune even though when I had asked her before if she knew it she said no. I know she knew it because she hummed along when it was played. One morning her husband woke her up and said. "You know I love you" She grumbled an answer "You woke me to tell me this? Then he rolled over and died. The moral of this story is : Wives be careful how you answer if your husband tells you he loves you in strange circumstances. This man was an Army Top Sergeant and not prone to telling anyone he loved them. He had married her in Berlin. She had also suffered under the conquest of the Russians which included rape and murder of the German women. She survived although many women committed suicide at the disgrace of carrying a Russian baby.
Then there is the lady across the hall who moved in 3 or 4 months ago. You would not know she has dementia. I pass her in the hall and exchange pleasantries. Not having an idea she has a problem. She is slender, well dressed, hair taken care of. that was one of the first things that Kay left unmanaged. Also makeup. But this lady is made up but I haven't noticed if she wears lipstick. But she is obviously a cultured person. She had only mentioned to me once that she had health problems. A few days ago there was a man and little girl who seemed to be prepared to go into her room but I had gone into mine before I saw if that had happened. I asked her later if she had had visitors and she said no. that sort of confused me because I thought the man and girl had knocked on her door. Yesterday I was sure of it but today when I asked if she had had visitors she said no again. Obviously she if forgetting their visit. That is strange how dementia works. She is forgetting people who come to see her but takes care of her personal attire.
I just got a movie from Netflix on dementia. It is called Notebook and in a lot of ways follows my experience with dementia Not the extra non dementia Hollywood fancies. but the descent into dementia and the dedication of the husband to care for her as long as he can. James Garner stars. Remember him? It's old but still good. Bad part is it does not have captions so I miss a lot of the dialogue.
I probably spent 3 hours writing this but think how long it would have been if I had fixed all the mistakes . The cursor is almost invisible which takes a lot of my time looking for it. Chow
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