Visit Kay Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Togetherness

  
Leaving Kay each day does not get any easier.  Today I followed some woman into the Community room which turned out to be Kay.  I turned her around and took her immediately to our place at the metal chairs and gave her the usual Truffles.  One more than usual as these were the Godiva brand and a little smaller than the Lindorf truffles. After the three I gave her a graham cracker.  I have to come up with something different for her as the cracker is not good as it is just another sweet product.  I got there at 1:15 which leaves me just a bit over an hour.  Although we don't normally do much it still is not a lot of time.  After a while I took her to her room and we lay on the bed watching  the TV although I watched it she lay her head on my breast while I held her.  As there is not a lot to do  for these short periods just being with her is about as good as anything I think.  About 2:15 I stirred and had her get up while I got the walker and coat to take her to the Community room.  She did not seem to be very sleepy.  I took her to the room and stayed with her a few minutes.  I did not want to start back too early as I was there such a short time and I needed the extra 3 or  4 minutes to get down in order be sure not to miss the shuttle.  A "no show" is bad.  But leave I must so when I leave I lean over her and look into her eyes and tell her I have to go home now but I will be back tomorrow.  This time I seemed to see an acceptance so should have got up turned and left.  But instead I held her hand and said something else which seemed to bring some kind of expression that might mean she wants to go with me or disappointment in her eyes somehow.  So I had to reassure her again that I would be back but this time I did not get the acceptance but had to leave anyway.  Knowing when to leave well enough alone is an art I think. this does not get any easier leaving her there with nothing to do. It is so sad being in a room of people wiith dementia with nothing for the to do. 

Tomorrow the VA guy is coming to talk to me and I will find if the VA has anything better to offer me. The condition of my eyes will be the deciding factor. Just what that means I do no know.