old memories

When I 

I am playing a video of old films and love songs. When I look at them again I wish I  could go back to the scene and savor it more than I did at the time.  Folks....live for now. Don't expect to have your pleasures sometime in the future.     Store it up so to speak.  Cant do that of course. I look at these old films and think of how much I love her.  I think of so many old people vegetating in rest homes alone. No one to visit them.   There because many times  they moved from partner never   building a foundation for their old age. You might ask what should the foundation be.  The best is to be with family and friends.  Going to a rest home and expecting it to provide enough activity that makes you forget will not work.  If you never had a relatioship that was on family and friends and you  never needed them in the first place then a rest home might work.  I have not been here long enough to know how much activity might make me forget Kay in the Memory place.  I am sure I will never overcome the lonelyness of being away from her ,  I am sure I can never forget her as long as she is alive.  Of course I can never forget her but I will always be lonely for her presence as long as she is alive.  

I am running low on milk and someone said there was a small market just up the street.  Pointing somewhere.  I decided I could not get into trouble by walking around the building if I didn't see it.  So not knowing which direction to turn when leaving the building I made a right turn and at the end of the building I turned up the street although there did not seem to be any businesses in the area. Remember now I am on a walker and nearly blind.  At the edge of the building up the street I decided not to go further so decided I could not get into trouble  by going around the building returning if I didn't see it.  I walked this alley for what seemed an age ad fnally came to a street.  So I turned right and went down to the street whcih seemed to be St. Helens.  So I turned right and headed back to what I hoped was the Cascade Vista Gardens.  I walked and walked to what  I thought I should see Cascade Vista but I could not see it.  Remember my eyes are bad.  In an urban setting I am not the guy you should ask for directions.  In the woods either I am sure.  In any case here is where I made a big mistake.  Instead of continuing on as it had to be where I was going  I decided to cross the street and take a look.  around.  So I walked back up the street a ways and there young man on a bicycle helped me find a guy in the building who pointed out where it should be.  His address 2026 St Helens whereas I wanted 242, Now that is really confusing Jump from 2024 to 242 in one block.  I knew I had not walked that far. But I figured I just could not see it well  enough to recognize it in that bright light. So I went back across the street and down to what would be Cascade vista. Remember I am on a walker on on concrete not made for walkers.  On the way I passed a place that sold beer and I wanted one real bad.  But when  I go from light to dark it takes a while for me to adjust.  So I had to  bypass it for now. Soon I recognized the buildings across the street so I knew I was almost home. What a walk.