Visit on Novembern20.

November 20, 2013, At Cascade Gardens

 I felt bad all the way home  when I thought of Kay. Even  after getting home.  Leaving her once is bad enough but twice is taking chances that she might want to come with me.  That is a disappointment and I don't like her to be disappointed in her condition.  I got there in very good time because the pickup was close to 12:30 and  there were no  other pickups on the way.  When I got there she was indicating there was something she did not like about the sweater she had on.  I managed to figure out that she did not have a bra on and figured she did not like that.  Usually she is wearing some nondescript  blouse or sweater and no bra is not so evident.  So I rummaged around her chest of drawers and found one.  I got her to take off her sweater and got the bra  on her with one hook.  With the condition of my eyes are I figure that is good  so don't press my luck by getting it unhooked and not able to hook it up again. So I didn't try for the second hook.  We went to the iron chairs in the hall and I gave her a couple truffles.  Eventually we went back to her room where we lay on the bed.  I was very tired. When I went to see her I had expected to take back a computer to Costco and had left it in her room.   The taxi driver  gives me a big break on the price.  and doe not charge me for the wait.  Even gives me a big break on the fare.  this job could just as well be done tomorrow.  But when I left Kay I left the computer  in her room and I went back to get it.  I had already told her goodbye and that I would see her tomorrow which was OK with her.  After getting downstairs I decided to go back and get it instead of leaving it for tomorrow. That's when the problem came about.. I got into her room and picked up the computer which is where she still was.  I waved goodbye to her again and went back down the hall  to wait for the elevator. Soon she also came down the hall with her walker and joined me and a couple other also waiting for the elevator.  

that's where the problem came about.  Now she was probably expecting to go with me.  so when the elevator did arrive she would have to be told she could not come with me.  You could see the expression in her eyes that she was expecting to come with me but as with all the others she had to be told she could  not come.  It had to be a disappointment.  Disappointments to people in their right minds is to be expected but disappointments to those who can not understand and you can not explain it to is a different matter.   But there was nothing I could do but close the elevator door in her face and hope she was not too disappointed while tellng her  I would see her tomorrow. I hated lleave with her not understanding. 

November 20,  2013 at Cascade Gardens

There is another time of day when I have to think of Kay.  When I go around the apartment and start turning off the lights to go to bed.  I cant but help think of going to bed alone after so many years of not being alone when this is done.  

Tonight I thought I would do dinner differently.  When coming home from seeing Kay I decided that instead of having dinner here at Cascade Park Vista I would go to a nearby tavern and get a meal and beer.  There are three real close.  One accoss the street and two just up the block.  They have some sort of menu so I decided I would go there instead of eating here at the Gardens.  I had a Taco, their version.  Not that bad but  I don't think I would have another. A block up the hill is a Japanese restaurant and although I am not all that fond of Japanese food I may try it for a change.