Tuesday Visit to Kay

A shocking visit to see Kay today.  Two shocks in fact.  I found her in the Community room.   She was awake but doing nothing just keeping company with the others.  Probably not all that interested in the opera or dancers on the Arts channel.  I told her to get up and go with me.  But she had a hard time getting up off the chair we have seen so many do.  Se was on a hard back straight chair so without having something to help her up it would be all in the muscles in her legs that got her up.  I helped a little but she did manage on her own to a large extent.  It seemed clear to me though that she was showing how feeble she actually is at this time. That was a shock to me to see her have some trouble getting out of a chair. After her treat we went to the bedroom because I did not have a  lot of time because the shuttle took so long to get there.  
During this time I felt that she seemed thin.  So when I left to go downstairs and get the shuttle to go home I stopped at the nurses station to ask what she weighed the last time.  She  told me Kay weighed 89. I couldn't believe it.  That is about 20 pounds less that the last time I knew what her weight was.  Now that explains why she seems to eat anything I bring to give her.  I just don't think she is eating much at her meals. Starting tomorrow I am going to the grocery store by cab if I have to and get something she can snack on when I go see her. 

Kay's shared bedroom.  That is her curled up on the far bed. The TV is on the right.

View from another angle with the TV in view. You can see the end of her bed. 

Anyone who has lived as long as we have considers what it will really be like at the end.  I thought I would be able to handle the message about Kay if it should come because we have had so long to contemplate it.  She is is a condition no one want to be in and I suppose there are some who think she would be better off dead.  Maybe so but I thought I could handle it pretty well but now I am not so sure.  The  night the nurse called me from there that Kay had fallen fell on me like a ton of bricks.  This was the moment before I realized she was not necessarily in bad condition.  So from this I conclude that when and if the message really comes I may not be able to handle it as well as I thought I could. Time will tell.