Kay and friends from grade school
I went to see Kay today. She was not in the usual places to look. The TV viewing room, the dining room, her bedroom, or halls. She has been going into rooms not her own because she does not know her room from the others. The doors all look the same. The first time she got lost she had not started going in rooms she did not know if the door was closed. So we found her wandering the hall totally exhausted. She was so glad to see us but when she got back to her bed she lay down and went to sleep immediately. That is why I knew she was exhausted. Another time , not too long ago, she was not found in the usual places and the attendant immediately began looking in all the rooms one by one. Finally he found her in one of he beds in a room not her own.So today I suspected the same and looked in the next room where some one was sleeping. My eyes are so bad I could not tell if it was Kay without lifting the bed covers and even then it might be so dark I would have a hard time telling if it was she. So I went down the hall and brought the attendant who verified it was Kay. We got her into her room. There are two rooms within one big room which also has a small sink, bath and toilet room. When I got her into her proper bed she said she was so glad to see me and kept kissing my hand and caressing face. She was not properly dressed and she did not seem up to walking and sitting in the hall in front of the window so I decided to stay in her room for the visit.. She had on slacks ok but they were under her nightgown. So instead of trying to get her dressed properly I decided to just lie down on top the covers alongside her. She put her head on my breast and I held her hand while we watched the TV I brought for her previously. She obviously liked being with me as she kept her head on my breast and held my hand. Eventually I decided maybe she was sleepy enough that I should leave and come back tomorrow. So reluctantly I told her I had to go and would come back tomorrow. She accepted it without protest which was a big relief. It's hard to leave when she wants to go with me.
What does this do to me? All I can think of is she is there alone. Staring at the walls thinking about.....what? .. nothing. What I do for her is give her at least, for a few minutes, someone from her life before she got in this condition. I don't care. I will visit her every day if I can. I want her to escape the prison she is in for a few minutes. I don't want her to forget me. I am her only link to the life she lived for 90 years. No one else visits her. The visit gets her out of a mind that thinks of nothing. That is the thing that eats on me and keeps me going to see her. I get her out of her prison for a few minutes. I hope somehow if I keep visiting her it might get her expecting my visits too.
Kay and Doyal enjoy a summer night
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