This is painful to tell about. Painful because it is what you might keep looking for in someone with Dementia. You know it is inevitable but when it comes it is something shocking anyway. As I have never experienced taking care of someone with dementia I only have a vague idea of how it will come on. So in a way it is going to be a shock even though you know these things will happen. I went over to see Kay today as usual. When I got off the elevator restricted to people who have a Key to keep the patents from using it of course one of the workers said she was in the dining room. so we went to the dining room but she was not there. We then checked the TV viewing room and she was not there either which left her room to check. But she was not there either. That meant she had to be in someone elses room. The worker started looking into the rooms. There is a hall around a square building with bedrooms on the outside of the hall towards the outer wall. Eventually about as far away as you can get from her room she was found in someones bed. Apparently she had left the dining room and could not find her room. Not surprising because when she goes with me to her room and she has to pick the room where she has her bed she invariably picks the wrong room. Going into her room from the hall is a door leading to a small entry way which leads to two small rooms. One on the left and one on the right. Her's is on the right but she invariably picks the left room.
This bothers me because even though most of the patients are mild and non-combative they just could get riled up in certain circumstances. Especially if they were to find some stranger in their bed. This was unsettling to me although I knew she has these tendencies but still when they come it is a shock. It also shows she may be worse than many others there.
I then took her to the patio and got two chairs to sit on. I went back and got some pictures and we looked at pictures for quite a while eventually she indicated she want to go back so I took her to her room and watched TV for awhile. About an hour after arriving I told her I would go home now and come back tomorrow. She did not object and I left. The pictures made it a lot easier to visit. Better than just sitting holding hands. Unfortunately Tom did not bring pictures of the immediate family but friends and relatives. I wanted pictures that had her in them. I don't know if these really interested her. I found that I was in a few so these had to be pictures she had taken with her camera.
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| Holding pictres of parents and grandparents |
2 comments:
Here is a Frontline TV special, and several articles below that might interest you.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/life-and-death-in-assisted-living/
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Kay. Tough times. I wish there was some way you could be together in the same building. Why don't any facilities have rooms for married couples?
Does Kay recognize herself in photographs? Perhaps she better recognizes her younger self? Could you post a large photo of her on the door to her room, so that she would know which room is hers?
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