Facing the future.

 The enormity  of the future begins to be apparent the closer the settling in is accomplished.  Moving, getting things arranged  and everything that goes with moving begins to be behind and what keeps you busy begins to be less and less.  Then you have to fill in the day with something else that moving and setting up has been doing.  You get up from the breakfast table and are faced with what to do now.  Go back to the apartment and lie  down and nap?  When your whole life has been thinking and solving problems  letting your mind do nothing is not is not something you want to do.  You still want to do something useful.  In my case though my eyes are beginning to be so bad that a lot of things I would normally do I do not want to do any more. Thinking of Kay is the most depressing of all.  No visitors, she cant talk on the phone.  She is  beginning to get to the stage where all she can do is sit and sleep like all the others.  No visitors, nothing to brighten up her day.  That is the reason this was not a good place to be.  But it is the best we could do. Visitors would certainly be good for her because she recognizes people and while they are there she enjoys them.  But when they leave I am pretty sure she has forgotten.  Me?  I cant think of her alone and abandoned. 

If we had visitors now and then we would have something to look forward to.  Even a phone call would be welcome. 

You never know how these things are going to turn out.  I thought a close knit family would insure in old age a continuation of that close association. Our families got together regularly.  We had family reunions all the time/.  We took the kids camping, kept them in Boy Scouts.  I think they had  a good childhood.   But staying in touch depends a lot on where they are now located.  So not visiting can not be helped.   Yesterday we had a couple visitors to our table. Checking out the place.  One an old man who was looking for a place to go to and the other a young boy not his son.  The son of his x wife.  Additionally the boy was half Japanese. For some reason I do not know the boy took it upon himself to look after the man and do what other family members should have been doing but were not. So here I am lacking close family contact what I thought would just come through natural events but is not.  I cant blame it on the family entirely because of the distances involved.  Now with skype and other Internet video other means could be  used to stay in touch.  I am going to look into doing that now that I am getting caught up.  But I cant forget family and get involved in things here and forget the past. It is my problem though.  Maybe an Iphone could help Kay see some family.  The picture may be too small to work well.