I hate living in a place like this. When you have spent a lifetime of making decisions to have to have someone else make them for you is a shock which is hard to get over. Of course it is necessary but that makes it no less distasteful. The employees don't make it any easier in lots of cases. For instance there are so many severely handicapped people who can do almost nothing on their own. So the employees tend to treat everyone as in the same condition. The management trains the employees to be spying constantly on the inmates many times not really knowing what is going on creating difficult contitions for the inmate who is being reported on. If I could get out of here I would do it in a heartbeat. I am sure I could handle it alone but the longer I stay away from full independence the harder it would be to take over.
Kay was in the Dining room today awake so I took her to the metal chairs in the hall were she did not wait for me to get into my bag for the truffles but she knew where they were and couldn't wait to get hers. By the time I left she had had 3 of them. Her TV was not working because it seems the signal from Cascade was not getting to the TV so we just stayed on the bed holding hands the usual way. When I started to leave she said no but I think it was she wanted to go with me not that I was to stay. I think I managed to get her to accept the fact that I was coming back tomorrow. What a miserable life. She needs someone who loves her to be with her all the time. I'm a sucker for a love song. Makes me blubber some times!
I am trying to make a video that shows how much I love her when I listen to love songs in some good movie.
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